The Game

I use 2 look at life to be sorta like Chess... You have your Pawns, Rooks, Knights, Bishops, Queen and King. The Pawns are the exes who fight a losing battle, they are always the first to fall... Then there are the Rooks who are the females who know he's taken but still wanna chase him. Then there are the Knights who are the friends who he the King believes is protecting him but in many cases just distractions. The Bishops are usual the brothers, or the best friend who's ulitmate goal is to protect the King, and the King relies on them heavily. And then there is the Queen.. The one who stands besides the king until the end. He goal is to protect the King at all cost even if the sacrafice is herself.. Then it hit me.. who's protecting the Queen? She's busy protecting the King when his only concern is not to get checked.. So now I look at life to be a game of Checkers.. Each piece for themselves and all they really want it to be Kinged!




~*~ Love Always~*~

Mr. Perfect

At five years old I received my first Barbie, this beautiful doll, who always smiles and has this perfect house, and perfect car.. and although she was all alone in this huge house Barbie still smiled. A few weeks later Ken came, and he was just as beautiful as Barbie, and he always smiled and Barbie's perfect home and car became his. They became this perfect image of happiness. I mean they smiled a part but together they did more than smiled they glowed.. and at the age of five I knew that this is what I wanted... someone to make me glow..

I do believe someone can be perfect, and that sound weird but love itself is weird. Love hurts you, changes you, makes you vulnerable, makes you crazy, it tests you. But when you find that one person who you truly love and they truly loves you.. they become perfect. Despite their flaws, despite the arguments, no matter the ups and down, in and outs they complete you. Once you have made a life with them it puzzles you how life was before them..


So Mr. Perfect know that I am inpatient at times, emotional, I'm going to want you around a lot, and I'm going to need affection, kisses just because, hugs to reassure me.. I can be insecure and even though I do trust you, I know females who don't have boundaries and don't care.. Know that I will be by your side no matter what, that I will come running when you need me, I will protect you at all cost and I will love you unconditionally. I know I will be good enough for you if your him, because to you I will be her and I know together we will glow.. yea we will have problems what perfect union doesn't (Barbie and Ken's closet couldn't fit all their clothes but they worked it out).. But I promise to be here no matter what, don't take advantage of that though because that would hurt me and why would you want to hurt me? I'm here Mr. Perfect waiting on you to step up to the plate, to move forward into a new chapter leaving the old ones in the past..

~*~ Love Always ~*~

Disappointed

I expect more from you.. I mean where are you? I need you and your not here.. your never here anymore, or maybe you were never here and I'm just holding onto a dream. Maybe your not even real, just a thought but your not fading only becoming more distanct.. You kissed me, atleast I think that was a kiss, you said you loved me, or maybe that was the echo of me saying to an open room. I cried and my tears just fell, your hand wasn't there to catch it, come to think of it your hand wasn't there to hold me when I was scared, or clap for me when I was doing good.. Wait, who are you? Your not who I remembered, or perhaps I just want you to be him that I haven't taken notice that you are not him. I know for sure one day you were him, or maybe it was a long dream. Wait who am I? If I'm busy chasing you and you aren't here then I guess I'm lost. But I don't want to be.. I want to be found. I want to exist, I want you to exist, I need you to exist, not because I need you but because I want this all to be a bad dream and when I wake up your there telling me it will be ok.. But maybe that's not what I should be hoping for, maybe I need to accept this as reality, except you don't exist.. YES that's what I must do.. not because your hurting me, but because I am hurting me loving you....


*This was me free writing.. so please forgive me if my thoughts are confusing but this literally poured out of me in 1 min.. hope you like it!*


~*~ Love Always ~*~

The Gemini

Since I named my blog after my astrological sign guess it's only right to set the record straight...
*stands up taps mic*... I AM NOT TWO FACED!
 I think that is the biggest misconception when your a gemini, and I will be the first to say a sign does not define a person, but it can be used to caution you on what you may be getting yourself into.. Sooo this is me:


I'm a witty, short tempered, emotional, energetic, loving, protecting, devoted, honest (sometimes to honest), sarcastic, funny (if I do say so myself), dedicated, smart, faithful, forgiving, open-minded women! I am Me, so before you judge me or anyone else for that matter, read their fine print! :-)




~*~ Love Always ~*~

New Year.. Old Tears

I entered this year making no resolutions.. I don't see the point.. waiting til an end of a year to start a new one differently just makes no sense.. I decided this year I'll let go and let God... and I can say in these first 6 days of 2011 I am happy.. But I will admit I shed tears.. I cried a few nights ago.. not a lot but enough to have me thinking about how much I put in people.. I mean I have faith, a lot in certain people and I am a firm believer in "Love Conquers All".. but I have learned that some fights aren't meant to be won.. If you know me you know 2010 was a tough year for me. I cried almost everyday.. if your a fan of Twilight I was Bella when Edward left, I functioned more than she did I mean because I can never stop being a mother when all else fails.. But I broke, in so many pieces.. and although I know they haven't all been picked up, I know that a new image of me has been made from these pieces. I matured and learned to stand more on my own two feet.. to be a better me. But I still cried, cried because I'm this forgiving, loving person and for once I noticed that all of that made a path way for people to just take advantage of me.. I don't want to be less caring or forgiving, or loving, but I have hired a guard dog to protect my path! LOL.


I know that I have so many more tears to shed.. so I stocked up on Kleenex and I trust that all these hard times will make way for better tomorrows!


Just remember.. no matter how bad you have it.. someone has it worse and I know that's not something you want to hear when you down but let go of all the negative because all it does is weigh you down..


LET GO AND LET GOD


~*~ Love Always ~*~

Friendship..

Friendship can be really hard to come by.. I mean you can call anyone your friend.. but a true friend, a person you can rely on.. trust.. its like finding a mate. I have had a lot of friends.. many come, many come, a few stay. My most vauled friendships aren't with the people I've known very long.. but I trust them with my life. Some people find friendships for the wrong reasons.. So I've made a list of the friends to stay away from..


1. The envious friend.. It's okay to have a friend who wants good things for you.. that's what they are suppose to do, but when they want what you have at the expense of you.. is that someone you really want around?


2. The dependent friend.. Some people don't know how to stand on their own two feet.. be careful of that because although we all have our moments of weakness you can't be someone elses only support. Their problems become your problems, and your problems remain yours and you will become overwhelmed. Sometimes ripping the band aid is all you can do.. it will hurt in the beginning but all wounds do heal


3. The mindless friend.. We all have that one friend who doesn't have their own opinion on anything. They always agree even when they don't. This friend is lost and will eventually get annoying.. Confront them or leave them alone


4. The selfish friend..  They are your ONLY friend.. they don't care to meet anyone else you consider a "friend" this friendship will not make it far.


5. The childhood friend.. A lot of people hold on to relationships because of time.. but time doesn't make a relationship, a lot of people in fact tend to grow a part. I am not saying to get rid of this friend but don't feel obligated to them just because you grew up together.. Sometimes letting go is good..


6. The opposite sex friend who likes you... Three words... CONFLICT OF INTEREST! Especially when you have no intentions of moving forward with them and they don't let go of the fact that its possible.. This relationship can become dangerous not necessairly phyically but it can become an emotional drain on both parties and can cause conflicts in relationships any party may get into.. Tread lightly..


I can't call myself an expert but I have come acrossed lots of these friends.. I will be the first to say I honor friendship.. and those who I value as a friend will know because I will always go that extra mile.. But in any situation you don't want to give your all because there are some people who can't help but take advantage.. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY!


~*~ LOVE ALWAYS ~*~

Learning how to walk...

I'm just your everyday regular girl... I cry.. (a lot) but I laugh a lot too.. I tend to dwell on things but I know that all things do happen for a reason.. Actually a few friends inspired me to start this blog.. My bestie for the last 3 years Shay.. she's a life line.. and an old time friend Ang.. we use to be besties way back when but she's someone I look up to! I do warn you that this is a first for me.. and I have lots to spill.. lol so stay tuned :-)

~*~ Love Always ~*~