Disappointed

I expect more from you.. I mean where are you? I need you and your not here.. your never here anymore, or maybe you were never here and I'm just holding onto a dream. Maybe your not even real, just a thought but your not fading only becoming more distanct.. You kissed me, atleast I think that was a kiss, you said you loved me, or maybe that was the echo of me saying to an open room. I cried and my tears just fell, your hand wasn't there to catch it, come to think of it your hand wasn't there to hold me when I was scared, or clap for me when I was doing good.. Wait, who are you? Your not who I remembered, or perhaps I just want you to be him that I haven't taken notice that you are not him. I know for sure one day you were him, or maybe it was a long dream. Wait who am I? If I'm busy chasing you and you aren't here then I guess I'm lost. But I don't want to be.. I want to be found. I want to exist, I want you to exist, I need you to exist, not because I need you but because I want this all to be a bad dream and when I wake up your there telling me it will be ok.. But maybe that's not what I should be hoping for, maybe I need to accept this as reality, except you don't exist.. YES that's what I must do.. not because your hurting me, but because I am hurting me loving you....


*This was me free writing.. so please forgive me if my thoughts are confusing but this literally poured out of me in 1 min.. hope you like it!*


~*~ Love Always ~*~